yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
