If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
