it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
