i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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