Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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