i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
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A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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