and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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