do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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