Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
