I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
