My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
