I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
