no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
