Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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