I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
