get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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