plz talk dirty to me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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