But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
