3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
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