Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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