i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
