I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
