I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
