My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
