i just google imaged poop.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
