are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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