i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
