I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
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i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
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first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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