the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
