sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
