Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
