she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
