Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
are you so shy because you have an std?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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