I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Someone came in the potted fern
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
