Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
