Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
