dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We left the knife in your bed.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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