Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
