I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
