another moral hangover. fuck.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
