YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
