She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
