When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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