wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
