Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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