There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize