I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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