i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
