question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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