btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
