In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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