I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
