I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so that wasnt chicken after all
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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