its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He's on the porch naked. Help.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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