my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
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So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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