part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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