the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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